Critical Incident

Out of my entire academic career, one moment sticks out as being the most significant and effecting of who I am. I want to preface by stating that my elementary school was wonderful! I had fabulous, interactive teachers and generally loved going to school. The school I attended, though public, was very academically advance, ranking one of the highest in the state. That being said, by fifth grade, many of the students were reading at an advanced level. As I understand now, in order to better serve each students need, the teacher separated the class into reading groups. Though it was not defined, it was obvious that one group was the fast group and one group was the slow group. The fast group was to leave the class and read in the hall. Everyone sat at their desks hoping their name would be called, hoping to be considered a "smart" student. Out of a class of 28, only eight students remained in their seat. I was one of them. I was in the slow group. I knew my reading was lower than par and that I probably would've struggled and embarrassed myself in the more advanced group, but I still felt humiliated at being amongst those who were slow readers.

I remember that moment as labeling myself "dumb". Through middle school, high school, and even college, I was reluctant to speak up in class in fear of being incorrect. I remained a slow reader and taught myself ways to achieve in school without doing the reading assignments. My academic and personal confidence was very low and though I did my best at school, I never expected greatness. To this day, I am still a very slow reader. After years of contemplation, I finally realize it is not completely my fault. Though not medically diagnosed, my parents and I agree I have a mild form of dyslexia, as well as having a horrible astigmatism. Graduate school has continued to be a struggle when it comes to the amount of reading, but I am very passionate about my studies, which has reversed my academic confidence and ability to speak up in class.

Though long ago, that one moment back in fifth grade has defined who I am and posed as a personal challenge throughout my life. In turn, I've learned many things from that experience that will benefit my teaching. First of all, I will never group kids according to academic status. I feel students should be striving to achieve their personal best rather than being compared to others. Secondly, just because a student is struggling in class does not mean they are not trying. I need to give each student an equal amount of support and help them feel confident in who they are as a student. Thirdly, I realize my teaching decision have potential to positively or negatively affect a student's life. I need to remember that throughout my teaching career and be conscientious in my planning. As with our assumptions, our varying life experiences have taught us many things we will use to improve our teaching. I see now, that event happened for a reason. It was a learning experience that I will now use to be the best teacher I can be.